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24 April 2012 @ 04:10 am
There is a man running down the street. He is tall and broad and dressed in a soldiers uniform. I know him only as Soldier. I am watching, but I am not corporeal. I am watching from an outward source. Like a television show, or a God looking at the world.

Soldier is chasing a man. The man is tall too but he is angular and thin, the Thin Man is ragged and his eyes are very dark and very round and set very deep in his head. When the Thin Man breathes all you see inside his mouth is blackness darker than dark. As if it eats the light.  His face is eerily impassive, but Soldier is angry. Thin Man is a killer, I know this somehow, He has killed a lot of young girls. Virgins. He has killed someone close to Soldier, and Soldier is going to kill the Thin Man if he can catch him.

The Thin Man is running across an old college campus. Even though I am dreaming I think Miskatonic in a joking voice. The Thin Man runs up a spiral stair case into a bell tower. The bell is made of a strange sort of blue metal, which doesn’t have much to do with anything, I suppose. The Thin Man seems never to tire, and he out runs the Soldier, but the Soldier is okay with that. The only way down is to jump, and either way the Thin Man is going to die.

The Thin Man waits for the soldier looking down as if he might jump, except his face is still impassive.

Then the Soldier comes in and he rams the Thin Man up against the wall with his forearm on his throat. Words are said but I can’t hear them, they’re too slow and muffled, like I hear them through molasses. They bubble.

The Thin Man laughs and I do hear that. It sounds metallic, and somehow like fire, and it is loud and harsh and breaking. Thin Man’s face and eyes remain impassive, but there is too much energy in his laugh. And then his mouth opens, and opens, and opens. It opens much wider than it shoulder, his chin reaching for his chest, and the blackness inside seems to shift somehow.

Then the Thin Man shifts too, like a flicker or a tremor in the air, his head jerks. And then they skip across the room, and Thin Man is holding the Soldier against the wall. At first, from my removed first person view, I think the Thin Man is holding the Soldier by his throat with his hand. But he can’t be, the Soldier’s feet are above his head, his arms are long but not that long. Nothing is holding the choking, scrabbling Soldier against the wall.

The Thin Man’s laugh keeps echoing but his mouth is not moving. It is gaping open, impossibly wide and impossibly long, his chin is on his chest. Something in the darkness has become a shape. It is unmistakable, but not corporeal. It has too many limbs, it is angular and spider like but somehow humanoid. It’s eyes are very, very round and not moving. Like perfectly round dolls eyes.  There are a lot of them.

As the Blackness crawls out of Thin Man, his head jerks and the hair falls out of Thin Man’s eyes. There is a small inverted cross carved into his forehead. And then that part of his forehead is not there any more.

It is blasted away by a shining bullet that imbeds itself into the wall below Soldier’s feet. Thin Man collapses, and The Dark simply disappears. The bell clangs once as Soldier falls to the ground with a thump. He gets up quickly and prepares to fight the person who shot Thin Man.

A Girl… a Hunter enters in a long black duster with a strange clockwork gun in her hand. Her frown is sharp, and her eyes are sharper. She crosses the room and slides two of her long, pale fingers and her thumb through Thin Man’s blood like skimming the surface of water.

She presses her bloody fingers to her eyelids, and her thumb to her forehead. She has a small red cross, the proper way round, on her forehead. Before Soldier can protest she does the same to him, and then says “Come with Me”, and leaves the room.
21 April 2012 @ 12:09 am

So, I didn't feel much like posting this earlier... but my mom ended up in the ER today, and... it was generally an EXTREMELY shitty day!

It started off pretty normal, and nice, we went to the complex me and Ian are thinking of moving into so mom could check the area out. She loves the place, and the look of the apartment (and was delighted to find that her worries about the cats being seen through the windows were unfounded. I HATE keeping them secret, but we simply can't find a place in our price range that allows more than two pets, and strictly indoor cats are much easier to hide than dogs!) and the complex.

We brought Sebastian this time, and he made a wonderful first impression. He never fails to impress people, even me! (and, you'll see later, its a DAMN good thing I thought to bring him along!)

there's a pond there, and they have a mated pair of swans! well, uh... it's laying season, and mama or daddy swan was feeling territorial. I noticed him/her lifting his/her wings and showing off, so took seb and went to the car, and said 'alright, s/hes feeling grumpy, lets go' to my mom.

Mom... doesn't come. Eventually, the swan wanders up with wings up and head down. I go 'MOM. come ON' and she...doesn't come. The swan LITERALLY HAS TO RUN AT HER AND TRY TO BITE HER, causing mom to scream and freak out and, as she told me, pee on herself a little (I should not have laughed so much) as she ran back to the car. I facepalmed.

Anyway, after that we went to a nice, cheap little diner place that had tables outside and got food. We were sitting with the dog, talking and eating and everything is going well.

cut for mentions of vomit, panic, anxiety and a TON of dramaCollapse )

EDIT: the worst part was, there were people around, and no one tried to help us.

20 April 2012 @ 08:58 pm

I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person.
I am an only child. (Youngest of three!)
I am currently in my pajamas.
I am currently pregnant.
I am left handed.
I am a little shy around the opposite gender at first.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.

I enjoy country music.
I enjoy smoothies.

I enjoy talking on the phone. (Nope nope nope, texting is a godsend.)
I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.

I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl.
I have all my grandparents.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.

I have or had broken a bone.
I have caller I.D. on my phone.
I have bathed someone.
I have changed a diaper.

I have changed a lot over the past year. (Helloooooo Reslife!)
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have had major/minor surgery.

I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have rejected someone before.
I like the taste of blood.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I own 100 CDs or more.
I own and use a library card.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike maths.
I was born in a country other than the US.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I work at a job that I enjoy. (...well I don't DISLIKE it?)
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
I consume at least one alchoholic drink every month.

I have/had:

Graduated high school.
Smoked cigarettes.
Rode every ride at an amusement park
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.

Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been dumped.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.

Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.

Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.

Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Skipped school.

Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Fired a gun.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to Sea World.
Attempted suicide.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.

Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair.
Had something pierced.
(My ears, though they grew out. Twice.)
Got straight A’s.
Your parents sent you to a shrink., [well it was a mutual choice]
Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the color:
Light brown
Medium brown
Dark brown
Dirty blonde
Strawberry blonde/Ginger

My eyes are:
Light brown
A combination of things

I am a:


People sometimes label me as
(Oh so many labels)

My longest relationship was __. (including on and off relationships)
1 month or less
2 months
3 months
4 months
5 months
6 months
7 months
8 months
9 months
10 months
11 months
A year+
Two years or more
I’ve never been in a real relationship.

Some of my biggest fears are ___.
Spiders/other insects
Doctor/dentist appointments
Needles (Only blood draw needles, mostly)
Being alone in the dark
Small spaces
Oceans/large bodies of water
Large animals
Small animals
Dying young
Open spaces
Space/deep space
[adding this one myself] V*miting

I have ___.
A friend with benefits
A computer in my room [does laptop count?]
A television in my room
Good grades (Hahaha no)
My own car
Married parents

You are in high school.
You dropped out of high school.
You graduated within the last 5 years.
You live on your own.
You live within 20 minutes of your best friend.
You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed. [I live WITH the last person I kissed...]
You live within 20 minutes of your ex.
You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours.
You have been to the movies within the last week.
You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year.
You have been a designated driver.
You have broken merchandise and not paid for it.
You have played strip poker.

You are Catholic.
You are atheist.
You recycle regularly.
You are a brunette.
You have dated a blonde.
You are friends with a redhead.
You are taller than your mum.
You have a bank account.
You’ve written a check for less than $5.
You have visited the Statue of Liberty.
You have visited the Eiffel Tower.
You have visited Big Ben.
You have visited the Colosseum.
You have visited The Great Wall of China.
You have never been out of the country.
You have been a waiter/waitress.
You own a Bible.
You own something with a Pentagram on it,
You have used a Ouija Board.
You have been a witch for Halloween.
You have been a zombie for Halloween.
You have been a Disney character for Halloween.
You don’t celebrate Halloween.
You have your belly button pierced.
You have your tongue pierced.
You have your eyebrow pierced.
You have a Monroe piercing.
You have your nose pierced.
You have an ankle tattoo.
You have a wrist tattoo. [Mischief Managed on my left wrist]
You have a back tattoo.
You have no tattoos.
You have more than 5 tattoos.
You straighten your hair.
You have worn a dress in the last 3 days.
You live somewhere that gets snow.
You celebrate Hanukkah.
You were at your own house last New Year’s.
You were at a bar last New Year’s. (This year I will be! My 21st is the NYE, I can't wait~)
You slept through last New Year’s.
You have worked on Christmas Eve.
You have worked on Christmas.
You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today.
You were told by someone who’s not family.
You slept in your own bed last night.
You are dating the last person you kissed.
You regret kissing the last person you kissed.
You enjoyed your last kiss.
You are wearing a necklace right now.
You are wearing something red.
You are wearing something blue.
You are wearing something purple.
Your phone number ends with an even number.
You have kissed the last person you called/texted.
You are currently listening to music.
You are waiting for something.
You don’t like seafood.
You have eaten deer sausage.
You have given a complete stranger your phone number.
You have been hit on at work.
You have been hit on by someone more than 20 years older than you.
You have been whistled at.
You were creeped out by it.
You are a good speller.
You are very punctual.
You were dating someone in December of 2008.
You are still dating that person.
You have cheated on someone.
You have been cheated on.
You have been on a cruise ship.
You have camped out in your own backyard.
You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you.
You are a Pisces.
You are an Aquarius.
You are a Leo.
You are a Capricorn.
You have Irish heritage.
You have Polish heritage.
You have Japanese heritage.
You have Israeli heritage.
You have German heritage.
You have Portuguese heritage.
You have French heritage.
You have Norwegian heritage.
You have Korean heritage.
You were born in May.
You were born in June.
You were born in October.
You wonder what will happen when you die.
You are afraid of the dark.
You write in all capital letters.
You have been told you have nice handwriting.
You have had a song written for you.
You have had a picture drawn of you.
You have curly hair.
You are wearing a watch.
You are wearing flip flops.
You wouldn’t date someone who smoked.
You know someone with the same birthday as you.[not personally but Gerard Way has my birthday! :D ]
You are a morning person.
You are a night owl.
You slept in past 10am today.

You have big plans for next weekend.
You are thinking of someone right now.
Your job is stressing you out.
You don’t have a job.
You have never had a job.
You were fired from your last job.
You know sign language.
You will usually try something at least once.
You have been swimming in the last month.
You are pessimistic by nature.
You have taken a ballet class.
You have taken karate.
You have taken gymnastics.
You wish on shooting stars.
You wish at 11:11.
Your birthday has already come this year.

You have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year.
You ended your last relationship.
Your ex ended your last relationship.
You aren’t over your ex.
You have gone after someone you knew was bad for you.
You have let someone use you.
You are engaged.
You are married.
You are divorced.
You have a child.
You were/are a teenage mom.
You are an otaku.
You are a cosplayer.
You were named after someone.
You like your name.
Your last drink was water.
You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’.

You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going.
You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’.
You are self-conscious about your body.
You have a hangover.
You have a pet fish.
You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house.
You live on a farm.
You live in a trailer.
You live in Montana.
You live(d) in South Carolina.
You live in Illinois.
You live in Maryland.
You live in New Mexico.
You have godparents.
Your parents are still married.
You have step-siblings.
You are the oldest.
You are adopted.
You have a twin.
You don’t want kids.
You want more than four kids.
You have a bad temper.
You have made out with a complete stranger.
You usually make the first move in an intimate situation.
You have worked with a Kayla.
You have gone to the movies with a Jared.
You have hugged a Lexie.
You have held hands with a Marcus.
You have dated a Rachel.
You have kissed a David.
You have ridden in a car with a Nicole.
You have had class with a Patrick.
You have gone out to eat with a Chloe.
You know a Kyle in the military.
You are related to a Julie.
You have gotten drunk with a Brent.
You can voice-act.
You have broken your arm.
You have had to get stitches on your face.
You have had an MRI.
Your fingernails are painted.
Your fingernails are painted black.
You like to read.
You like to cook.
You like to draw.

You like to sing.
You can play an instrument.
You keep a lot of secrets from people.
You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you.
You don’t trust people easily.
You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone.

You drive a car older than a 2002.
You have lost a friend you never thought you would.
You know a child who died of cancer.
You know a teenager who died in a car wreck.
You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours.
You have cut your hair in the last week.
You wear glasses.
You have been pulled over for speeding.
You love to drive with the windows down.
Your favorite season is Autumn.
Your favorite color is orange.
Your favorite animal is a dolphin.
You last rode in a car with a relative.
You last rode in a car with a girl.

You last rode in a car with the person you are dating.
You regularly watch Asian dramas.
You love Chinese food.
Your best friend is older than you.

You have to go to school/work tomorrow.
You answered every question truthfully.

27 January 2012 @ 05:00 pm
Which video game character would you like to have as your real-life BFF? One random response will win a $60 Amazon gift card! [Full contest rules here.] Don't forget to share your favorite gamer moments on at 3 p.m. PST for Free For All Friday (FFAF).
Ellis from Left 4 Dead 2. if by 'bff' you mean 'sordid lover'
08 January 2012 @ 04:01 pm

The horses are restless today. Even old Bronwen, who has never been barnshy in her life, nearly drags Marie off her feet as she tries to lead her in for the night.  The other horses, already in their stalls, snort and prance. She tries to play it off as hot blood, an approaching storm, but she knows that almost every horse in that barn is nearly bomb proof. It puts her on edge, but she tries to ignore it as she finishes her chores.

But Marie can’t shake the feeling that she’s being watched, and the horses are prancy and hot as she tries to groom them. Each time she steps out of a stall into the isle, her attention is drawn to the gaping mouth of the barn doors. Twilight darkens to dusk, and the barn’s motion lights never go off, so she can’t be sure why she keeps expecting to see something there.

Her concern, almost suddenly, turns into something like actual fear. She continues to feel that nagging feeling that something is watching her from the door way, and tries to keep her hold on the brush as she grooms her own horse, Broggan. Her hands are trembling, and the horses all around her whicker and snort, not even touching their hay nets.

Broggan stamps his back hoof repeatedly, the sound of metal on cement ringing back in a hollow echo.  She ducks under the cross ties to move around him.


Marie drops her bucket with a clatter and nearly screams, Broggan whinnies above her and tries to back up with a clatter of hooves. There is a general stamping and prancing in the barn as Marie’s heart rate drops back below the speed of light.

Why didn’t the motion lights turn on? Is her first question as she turns to the mouth of the barn. There’s a boy standing there, just on the edges of the semi-circle of light spilling outside, somewhere in those years where age is hard to pick out. If she had to hazard a guess, it would be twelve or fourteen. 

Marie would say that there was nothing remarkable about him, but there is. There is something painfully wrong about him, and she doesn’t know what it is, but an awful feeling of terror washes over her. She has never been this afraid, no trip from saddle to ground, no wild cat scream in the dark or yowling pack of coyotes has instilled in her this sort of mind numbing terror.

She felt as she imagined and animal felt facing down a predator that spelled certain death. Even as she shook in her boots, she tried to think logically. She was older than this boy by at least five years, she had height and size on him and Broggan at her back. Why was she so afraid of this thin, lanky preteen boy.

“Would you let me in?”

Something about this seems off to Marie. He doesn’t talk like most kids his age do, and the door is wide open. She doesn’t know why he didn’t just walk in and walk right up to her. Just thinking about that makes her hair stand on end, though, and she’s glad that he didn’t.  And besides that, he doesn’t seem like a kid talking to an adult stranger. He stands very still and looks right at her, his voice straight forward and measured.

Apparently, she stays quiet for too long.

“Come on, lady, it’s cold out. I said can I come in?”

Broggan snorts and throws up his head and walks sideways as he tries to get away from the cross-ties Marie has him in.  The rest of the horses are at the very back of their stalls, stamping and snorting. One mare, Marie thinks it’s Bronwen, whinnies in fear.

“No! No,” Marie says, jumping on the first excuse she sees, “Better not, The horses are restless and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. You… You stay out there.”

Oh God, she thinks, trying wildly to remember if there is anyone left out on this part of the farm but her. Please, Please don’t let me be alone out here. She looks back at Broggan for just a second, and when she looks back, he’s moved forward.

He isn’t in the barn, but he’s closer to the door, in the middle of the semi-circle ring of light the isle lamps cast out onto the gravel.

“It’ll be fine, Lady, just let me in. You have to let me in!”

Something about that makes Marie’s heart race, it’s hard to breath she’s so frightened. She makes the mistake of looking at his face, and she almost screams again before fear swallows it. His eyes are completely black, there is no white sclera to speak of.

 She reminds herself that black out contacts exist, but last Halloween Jett got himself a pair and they made his eyes look awkward and wide. This kids, other than being the color of pitch, look entirely normal.

And besides, that doesn’t explain the crushing fear he causes her, The predatory, stalking air. But the longer she keeps eye contact with him, the longer she is tempted to beckon him in. She feels her hand lift, perhaps to wave him in, but behind her, Broggan rears in the nick of time and the clatter of his shod hooves on the cement jerk her out of it.

She steps back until she bumps into Broggan’s broad chest. It’s heaving rapidly, and she takes an odd sense of comfort in the fact that the half-ton animal is as afraid as she is of a boy.

But the boy is even more irritated now, and his pleas get more intense.

“Let me in!” Something about the way he speaks is off, Marie thinks again, “You have to LET ME IN!” She realizes that she starts hearing the words an eye-blink before his mouth moves and her terror increases.

Her mouth trembles and her eyes well up with tears. She can’t leave the barn, but she doesn’t want to stay here with him there either. She doesn’t know what to do, and the crushing sense of fear drives her to tears.


His mouth is too wide, almost like it’s stretching in his anger, and it’s very, very black inside. Why aren’t the motion lights on? Why didn’t they move when he did, why don’t they move now as he stomps his feet?

The horses are whinnying and going mad in the stalls, and Broggan actually screams like a stallion and kicks out his back feet. Despite his fear, he manages not to trample his rider so near to his front hooves.


The motion lights at the back of the barn thump on, casting clear white light over the paddock at the back, and filling the supply room as the door to it opens. Marie really does scream this time, and burst into tears. She is sure another one of whatever this boy is has gotten in the back way.

The boy has ceased his yelling, and Marie whirls on her heels. But it’s only Jett, her fellow stable hand, and she makes a half-terrified half-relieved yelping noise as she ducks Broggan’s cross-ties and runs recklessly past his back legs to get to him.

Jett catches her and keeps asking her what’s wrong, and why she’s crying, but all Marie can do is stammer and point uselessly at the barn door, but Jett keeps telling her there’s no one there. When she finally gets the courage to look, Jett is right. The motion lights are off, and the ring of light is empty.

“I… thought when I first came in I might have seen some kid in a hoodie, but I guess I imagined it.”

“NO! No he was there! Didn’t you hear him screaming at me!? screaming to let him in!?”

“Marie, whoa. No I didn’t hear anything, what are you talking about?”

But Marie can’t take it anymore and breaks down into inconsolable tears. She practically clings to Jett as he fights Broggan into his stall and checks the barn for anyone. There’s no one around, and though the horses seem uneasy, they begin to whicker to each other in a way that Marie and Jett find comforting. Some great danger has passed.

Even Jett is on edge, as whatever Marie saw obviously shook her up. She can’t be faking this. She refuses to drive home alone, and so he loads her up in his truck and takes her himself. As his headlights fall on the barn door and Marie is sniffling and stammering that she doesn’t want to be at the barn alone at night anymore, he thinks that maybe he sees the print of sneakers there, when he and Marie and all the riders wear boots, but he can’t be sure.

25 November 2011 @ 06:57 pm
1. What is your full name?
Aldis Aleron Alderone... My, uh... My parents had a thing for alliteration. My code name Is  yè  yīng, we'll just go by that, if that's alright.
2. Where and when were you born?
January 23, while my mother, father, and brothers were visiting my grand parents in Wuhan, China. We returned to Vermillion city as soon as I was old enough to travel.

3. Who are/were your parents?
... My parents... we're very good people. My father made some mistakes, long before I was born, but they killed him and my mother in the end. My mother's maiden name was Yue Zhōu. My father was Donato Alderone, and he met my mother on what he told her, and us, was a business trip to China...

4. Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?
Three older brothers, Alfred, Alexei, and Alistair. They ... are very little like our parents, with a cruel streak that must come from a distant reletive. They fought amongst each other, and with me, as long as I could remember. But when our parents were alive it was hardly more than brotherly squabbles. After they died, they all turned on each other. Constantly at each others throats. When we joined the Rockets, they had other outlets for their cruelty, I think... The last I heard of them, they all seemed to be getting along quite well. I don't see them much anymore.

5. Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.
I live at the Saffron City Rocket base, in Barrack Sixteen with the rest of the... experiments.

6. What is your occupation?
A play thing? A tool? Officially, A disgraced Team Rocket member forced into scientific experimentation to make me less, and more, than human. I have no official job, as of yet, except to be poked, prodded, and leered at.

7. How would you physically describe yourself?
Um. Kind of stocky, though I used to just be kind of short. My skin has a sort of dusky orange color to it since the Morph Project finished with me, and I hate it because I look like I have a stupid, fake tan. I have faint, black stripes on my biceps, ribs, back, thighs, and cheeks. My hair is sort of a sunset-orange-color, with cream colored bangs. it sweeps back and jags out at the back of my skull. My ears are in the right place, but they are canine ears, with slightly rounded cream tips, as well as an obnoxiously fluffy cream colored tail I must constantly brush.  My canine and eye teeth are elongated and sharp.  My eyes are still brown.

8. To which social class do you belong?
... None of them, as far as i'm aware or concerned.

9. Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?
No allergies, or diseases that i've found out about yet. I cannot sprint for long distances due to my higher body temperature, since my human skull isn't designed to vent heat away from my brain. I could easily over heat and die. I have trouble spending long amounts of time in a high-heat environment, as it makes it harder and harder for my body to vent the excess heat through my skin. I have to drink more water than most people to remain hydrated, and i'm often 'drying out'.  I'm also easily disoriented by high pitched noises, or extremely loud sounds.

10. Are you right- or left-handed?
Right-handed, though I have better aim with my left--I just can't throw things as far with it.

11. What does your voice sound like?
Uhh... I don't know. One doesn't usually listen to their own voice, right? um. I guess it's kind of... Quiet and a litle bit monotone, it kind of has a weird accent but it's not Itailan or Chinese...I don't know. it's kind of husky since the Morphing.

12. What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?
Um... Oh, well, I guess I say 'Um' and 'Uh' a lot, because I try to think about what I say before I say it.

13. Are there any sensitive places on your body?
I don't like the sides or back of my neck touched without permission, I don't like the new tail or ears touched. My neck feels vulnerable, and I don't like being reminded of the new features. Plus there are too many nerve endings in the ears for me.

14. Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?
I constantly mess with my tail because the mats annoy the living shit out of me for some reason. My hair is the same way, to a lesser extent. It tangles more now. I have kind of an issue with eye contact, it either makes me shy, uncomfortable, or angry. I also tend to peek around corners before I go around them, I don't know why I do this, but I always have.  I also have a bad habit of chewing on edges of my sleeves.

Part 2: Growing Up
15. How would you describe your childhood in general?
Which part of it? Before I turned nine, my childhood was normal, full of peace and a loving family environment. Then a monster murdered my parents, and I don't remember having a childhood after that.

16. What is your earliest memory?
Um... Before the.. incident it was of my mother. Nothing in particular, just a vision of my mother, her face and her voice and her smell and of her singing a song to me. After the incident it is of Hourig's face looking up from my arms.

17. How much schooling have you had?
Not much, I was in school before I lost my parents. I didn't go for at least a year after, maybe longer... I attended here and there after moving in with my uncle, but eventually stopped attending.

18. Did you enjoy school?
I did, but I was young, so mostly for my friends. And as I got older, just as a reason to get some time away from my brothers. I still like to read, and I like to learn... I don't have much chance these days.

19. Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?
Team Rocket, mostly. Though my mother taught me basic cooking skills, and her recipe book taught me the rest. My father taught me a lot of things, but they're not skills I can really explain.  I taught myself to train pokemon.

20. While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.
My mother, and my father. My mother was a clever, funny, loving woman with an amazing capacity for patience and forgiveness and understanding. She was beautiful and easy to idolize. My father was a kind man, fair in his judgement, with equal love for me and all my brothers, and a fierce love for my mother. He was protective and did his best by his family... He wanted to make his wrongs right...

21. While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

When I was younger, my brothers and I squabbled, but we were mostly just being brothers. And there were a lot of us, so it was to be expected. I was an obedient, clever child so my parents and I never had issues. After we moved in with my uncle, it was constant fighting.

22. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A freelance Pokemon Trainer, or a chef.

23. As a child, what were your favorite activities?
I loved to read, and to explore the shore and the cave near my house. Above all that I liked to cook with my mother. When I lost my mother, my favorite activity was to teach Hourig, and to learn from Hourig. Just to be with Hourig.

24. When and with whom was your first kiss?
Um. I can't even remember his name. My first male crush, way back just before I dropped out of highschool and still thought I was 'experimenting'. ... John or... Jake or something. Maybe Jack?

25. Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?
Yes, I haven't really had the opporotunity to have a relationship.

26. If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.
Uh... Well, I used to be a normal human... I guess my parent's murder, and, uh,  my brother giving up and forcing us into Team Rocket shaped a lot of what I did, and do. And since the Morphing... I mean, I guess just Rocket's tests found out my 'abilities'.

Part 3: Past Influences
27. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?
My parent's murder, getting Hourig, and my first escape.

28. Who has had the most influence on you?
My Boss, unfortunately. After that, Hourig.

29. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Uh... Training Hourig to be the way she is now... And possibly actually succeeding in escaping from team rocket, if only for a short while.

30. What is your greatest regret?
Signing my name on that Sign up Sheet of The Damned.

31. What is the most evil thing you have ever done?
I... try not to commit acts of evil... But I suppose, sending a pokemon into battle knowing it would die... and fighting pokemon when I knew I would kill them... And hardly regretting it. I don't doubt i'll commit worse acts, the longer I stay here.

32. Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

34. How were you as a child?

fine, okay... I guess ... A lot more friendly, a lot more outgoing.

35. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?
My mother and father never would have died. I... there has to be something I could have done.

36. What is your best memory?
The day I first saw Hourig. The first time in a year, at least, I had felt anything. it was becoming self aware, empathetic, a creature of emotion all over again, all thanks to her.

37. What is your worst memory?
The... The execution of my parents.

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions
38. What would you say your favorite Pokémon is?
Ninetales, full of intensity and cunning, balanced with grace and an amazing capacity of love.  Even before the murders, my mother always brought Ninetales to mind. My father though... -chuckles- My father always made me think of Nidoking. He was a big man, scary on the surface.

39. Do you believe that there is life on other planets?
I like to think so, not that it has much effect on what goes on down here on Earth.

40. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?
I consider myself a realist with pessimistic tendencies.

41. What is your greatest fear?
losing Hourig, and ...Never getting out.

42. What are your religious views?
I don't hold much stock in the Gods, what interest of theirs are we? But... I feel if the Boss continues what he's doing, we'll soon find out how much interest they have in us.

43. What are your political views?
I've never had much time to learn about them, but I know corruption when I see it.

44. What are your views on sex?
Certainly not the first thing on my mind these days, though I think i'd probably be the type to hold out for true caring and emotion. If I still have it.

45. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
I will if I have to, to get where I want to be, though I'd prefer not to. You never know if people are parents, or loved ones. There should be other options. On the other hand, killings that don't involve or effect me, are neutral in my eyes. That sounds very self centered.

46. In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?
I've seen the worst human beings can do, I will not talk about this.

47. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
I beleive in soul mates, and true love. But I don't believe in perfection. There will never be anything out there that is perfect. there will be flaws, there will be complications. And in all likelihood, you'll have to settle for someone who isn't your true love. My parents were extremely lucky to have found that.

48. What do you believe makes a successful life?
in my situation? Surviving, and getting out of it.

49. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
I speak when spoken to, for the most part. My feelings are my own, but if I have something to gain by speaking up, I will.

50. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
Probably, but I can't think of them at the moment... Other than absolutely hating people who obsess over revenge.

51. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?
I will never stop running.

52. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
Myself, my freedom, and Hourig.

Part 5: Relationships With Others
53. In general, how do you treat others? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?
I tend to be rather distrustful and introverted, I haven't gotten the chance in a long time to get close to someone... Not that I wouldn't like to. But I tend to be loyal to the point of stupidity (which is why i'm here, if I had disowned my brothers like I would have if i were smart...) and protective

54. Who is the most important person in your life, and why?
Hourig. It has been Hourig since my first memory after my parent's murder. And, to a lesser degree, myself.

55. Who is the person you respect the most, and why?
Excluding the dead, the only person I respect these days is myself.

56. Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.
I have no human friends anymore, and Hourig is unavaiable to me... for now.

57. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

58. Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.
I don't think that I have, no.

59. What do you look for in a potential lover?
I... don't give much thought to this. I haven't got time, nor the emotional capacity right now. I suppose... I tend to be introverted, I guess someone willing to tolerate my being in a shell, and ... someone who can actually make me care about someone who isn't myself, or my pokemon.

60. How close are you to your family?
I loved my parents, before I lost them. My brothers are no longer kin to me, and I do not care what happens to them.

61. Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?
no. I'm at an age where I would have liked to be starting a family, at twenty four, but... this is an impossibility and may remain that way forever.

62. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
I... Myself, and Hourig. I know that at least she would lay her life down for me.

63. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
Myself, because no one else can be trusted with the job, as far as humans go. And hourig, and the rest of my team.

64. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
I doubt that anyone human would.

65. Who is the person you despise the most, and why?
I wish I knew his name so I could curse him properly. More than I hate any Rocket, any Boss, I loathe the man who murdered my parents. executed them.

66. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
Mostly, I avoid conflict and bide my time.

67. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?
I'm not given that chance very often, but I will if I must.

68. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?
I hate crowds

69. Do you care what others think of you?
No, not really. not any more.

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes
70. What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?
I like to cook, and to read. When I had the chance, I liked exploring new places. I like plants, as well, though I never learned much about gardening.

71. What is your most treasured possession?
I... wear my parent's wedding rings on a leather string around my neck.

72. What is your favorite color?
Celadon. The color, not the city, obviously.

73. What is your favorite food?
Kaya-Bao. Um. they're these dumplings with a coconut jam...I... it's kind of funny, because I never liked them when I was a kid, but my mom made them all the time because they were her favorite food... A... a few years after she died I saw them in a market and bought one, and I didn't know why... but I loved it then, and I still do. I wish they weren't so hard to find.  And then I love canolli too, always have.

74. What, if anything, do you like to read?
anything, really. Mythology is a favorite, along with historical fiction.

75. What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?
Music, mostly, but anything that can incite emotion.

76. Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?
I never really get the chance to drink, but I rather like it. I smoke cigarettes and dont' care one way or another if I quit or keep it up, so I just keep it up because its easier.

77. How do you spend a typical Saturday night?
If not being examined , I usually sit and read in my room.

78. What makes you laugh?
... this... Oh Gods, don't mock me for this but. Puppies, of any sort, when they gambol around and act all clumsy.  Also, slapstick humor can usually get a chuckle out of me.

79. What, if anything, shocks or offends you?
Revenge killings bother me, but not much other than that. not any more.

80. What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?
Read. Find a window, sit and smoke.

81. How do you deal with stress?
Mostly ignore it. Shut off. Or fight back the cause of the stress.

82. Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?
I tend to be rather spontanious in the making of my plans, but I do usually have a plan.

83. What are your pet peeves?
overkill, in general. People obsessed with Asian culture in a ridiculous sort of way. Before the Morph, i took after my mom a lot, no one believed me when I told them I lived in a mostly-italian style household and was from Kanto.

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.
84. Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?
Wake up, make bed, get dressed and report for duty. return to pajamas, return to bed, sleep. Repeat.

85. What is your greatest strength as a person?
Emotional stamina. I don't just... give up on going on.

86. What is your greatest weakness?
At the same time... I wish i were ruled by emotions, I would be able to restrain myself a little better. See, logically, when something is stupid.

87. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish I could connect with people more easily. And... in a way, I wish I had been malleable enough to simply integrate as a rocket. Ingnorance is Bliss.

88. Are you generally introverted or extroverted?
I tend to be quite introverted, mostly because I've not met anyone in a long time I wanted to talk to.

89. Are you generally organized or messy?
I tend to be organized. It's easier to keep a clear head.

90. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
I'm good at pretending I don't feel things when people want me to, I'm good at pretending to be loyal, I'm good at ... marching on. I'm also good at, on a more carefree note, cooking. I'm bad at knowing when to quit, I'm bad a making good choices, i'm bad at caring.

91. Do you like yourself?
I'm neutral about it.

92. What would you say is your theme song?
Probably SING by My Chemical Romance.
"Sing it out/Boy they're gonna sell what tomorrow means/Sing it out/Girl before they kill what tomorrow brings/You've got to, make a choice if the music drowns you out/Raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth"
"Generation nothing/Nothing but a dead scene/Product of a white dream/I am not the singer that you wanted, but a dancer/I refuse to answer, talk about the past, sir/Wrote it for the ones that want to get away./
Keep running"
And maybe Rise Against's Re-Education Through Labor
"Chased down like dogs we run from/Your grasp until the sun comes up"
"I won't crawl on my knees for you/I won't believe the lies that hide the truth/I won't sweat one more drop for you"

93. What songs reminds you of someone else, and who?
mm... Norah Jones' Nightingale reminds me of my mother, if only because that's what she called me.

94. What's the ringtone on your phone?
"Prayer of the Refugee" By Rise Against
"We are the angry and the desperate,/The hungry, and the cold,/We are the ones who kept quiet,/And always did what we were told."

95. What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?
I just want to get out. I want to control my own life.

96. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I don't. I don't truly expect myself to make it that long. if I do, I want to see myself out.

97. If you could choose, how would you want to die?
I wouldn't like to die, but... I can probably see myself killed after one two many escape attempts.

98. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.
Hmm... Escape again. Just to say that I died a free man. I'd also release Hourig, Kun, Mei and all the rest.

99. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?
Leaving as much destruction of Rocket property as possible in my wake.

100. What three words best describe your personality?
Reserved, Desperate, tumultuous

101. What three words would others probably use to describe you?
Cold, treacherous, disloyal

102. Infamous last words?
"You'll never own me again."
25 November 2011 @ 03:15 am
[wanted to call it 'First Escape' typed 'First Blood'  on accident. like it better. not relevant title at all pff]

    Team Rocket had no trouble infiltrating Silph Co., Not with so many of their own working their already. When the Boss had told them that the Casino hide-out was a bust, that was when Aldis had begun to suspect that Team Rocket was not as all powerful as him and his fellow grunts were lead to believe.
    He had worried from day one, truth be told. And he had joined young. His oldest brother, Alistair, had been 22 when, after years of fighting for his brothers(and with his brothers, and against his brothers) when petty theft and robbery hadn't worked, he had set their uncle's ramshackle house ablaze and dragged his brothers to the Rocket Recruitment Center to sign away their lives. Aldis was sixteen.

    Aldis had not wanted to be a Rocket. He had aspirations of being a Trainer, a rare and dying breed, freelance trainers who didn't work for a gym or Team Rocket which was expanding at a steady, alarming, rate.  But there was work here, a roof, steady meals, and security. For Aldis' brothers, it was more than a fair trade for their freedom and individuality.
    For Aldis, it was worse than living on the streets. From the second he signed his name and stepped through the door he was stripped down and trussed up in an identical black uniform, he was given a number for Arceus' sake, A bed in the 'dormitories'-Barrack like buildings that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up they were so like the ones in war movies, only painted black.
    They weren't people, employees, comrades. They were tools. And then came the worst part. His pokeballs were confiscated. Three little life lines, three miniscule, all important life lines to his sanity and to the real world. His Happiness, his Courage, and his Love all taken from him. He was not whole without the things that had saved him from a life trapped inside his own head, and taught him emotions he had forgotten.
    He fought it. He protested nearly to the point of violence until Alistair cuffed him and sent him reeling backwards. He was issued two new pokemon. Both of them were cubone, males, and like Night and Day. One aimed to please, the other aimed to fail. In the beginning, Aldis shoulder his work. He did was he was bid, and he thought little of it.
    Soon, he was a normal, battling grunt. And it began to wear on him. The cubone were the worst part. He had no ties to these pokemon. He hadn't caught, hatched, or trained them and they had no affection for him for a long time. As the weeks apart from his pokemon grew, his patience stretched thin and threadbare.
    It was a year to the day that he joined that he decided if he had to stay in Team Rocket he would lose his mind. It was that same day that the Silph. Co invasion was catastrophically cut short. He had been there, and all his brothers, too, on a mission together for the first time.
    A girl came through. Ragged, beaten, bleeding and still marching on with her pokemon around her. He had not wanted to fight her, he would have gladly let her go ahead. But it was orders, and at this time, he still enjoyed being alive... for the most part. So when she rounded the corner, with her Charizard sliding along on it's big, draconic belly through the hall behind her, he had come to meet her.
    She knew that he didn't want to fight her after his first cubone succumbed to her Charizard. He didn't rise again. She reigned in her pokemon after that, and left him with at least one Pokemon to his name. The building was wrecked from her pokemon and theirs. Pits in the walls, entire walls crumbled from explosions, toxic smoke and splintered doorways.
    In a daze, holding his dead cubone in his arms, he watched her stare at the ruin she had caused, then turn and walk up the stairs to meet his Boss. He heard, later, that she had been victorious. He was not there to see it. Something inside him had snapped. With his remaining cubone trying it's damnedest to keep up on it's small legs, rattling in his skull, Aldis had ploughed through hallways until he found his target.
    The card key had opened the door already, but her Charizard had half-ruined the door. He kicked and shoved his way through the gap until he got to the other side. Alarm bells, shouts were all around already and no one seemed to notice. She had reached the Boss, and no one was quite sure what to do.
    Aldis set his jaw and ploughed on. There were crates here. He tore them open, methodically one after one, until he found his pokeballs. They were warm, familiar in his hands.  He would have left the cubone, had he the heart of a proper Rocket.  

    It was with a nintales at his side that he made his first escape. Bravely, madly, he marched through the halls and through the hidden escape route. They tried to stop him, but he had spent time training this pokemon, put heart and soul into it, and two grunts were easy work. He went out the door at the same time the Boss' copter took off.
    He watched it go over his shoulder, and set off at a steady jog in the opposite direction.  Come morning, he would be a Rocket no more.

[except you get caught and dragged back a couple days later ya doofus]
22 November 2011 @ 02:48 pm
Originally posted by kylecassidy at post
Via Citykitties (emphasis mine):

A good samaritan found this cat today in a gutter by Clark Park, half dead. He is now at the Cat Doctor with a body temperature of 90 (normal is 102) and blood PCV of 8. The Cat Doctor housecat, Diamond, is currently donating blood to save his life. During the exam, the vet found that this cat has a microchip. When called, his "owners" reported that he was acting sick, so they put him outside. If this makes you as angry as it makes us, please channel your anger in one of two ways: visit our website at www.citykitties.org and make a donation to help us pay for his care, or share this post and encourage others to do so.

Click to donate.

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26 July 2011 @ 06:23 pm
I dyed my hair last night :]

26 May 2011 @ 06:32 am

Those of you who know her: I’m really missing her this morning for some reason. So. this entry.

When I was four we got a shih-tzu named Muffin, two days before Christmas as an impromptu present. She was a pet store puppy, and runty.

On Christmas morning she ‘helped’ me open my present. She slept with me and my mom  with her head toward me and her butt toward mom, right in the middle.

She would chase me in circles around the house and never get tired of me no matter how much I played with her and rough housed.

She was loyal to the bone, and when mom was mowing the lawn, she followed right at her heels.

We never had her cooped up, we lived in a secluded neighborhood and she roamed with my best friends dog. They chased motorcycles.

One time, when I was around six, me and a friend were down by the creek. I had her on her leash with me.

Suddenly, this man comes out with his pointer dog, around sixty pounds of it. She sees me and my friend and goes INSANE and runs right at us, snarling and barking.

My little ten pound dog slams herself into this dogs chest and bowls it over, going right for her throat and ears. The big dog is screaming for mercy while her owner stands and calls her uselessly. I grab my bad ass little dog and book it home. I don’t doubt she saved me or my friend from one serious mauling.

I taught her how to catch toads. She must have seen me and my friends do it. She would chase them around and prance and hit the ground with her front paws in a play bow. She never understood why they didn’t play back.

Sometime in her last few years I saw her do it again. Nearly blind, almost deaf, cancerous and arthritic, she still tried to play with a toad.

She would run around like an idiot when she got hyper. Eights and circles and zigzags until she had to lay down, then up to do it again.

She was afraid of storms, and she’d shake and pace and drive me crazy digging under the beds. every time it storms I wish she were here to do it again.

She survived cancer once, they took a huge chunk out of her side and in a week she was jumping on and off the bed like it had never happened. She was twelve.

She loved to dig, and every time we found a patch of sand or loose earth she would dig and dig until she couldn’t anymore. Even at fourteen.

She got along with everyone she met. Kids would come up and pick her up with no warning and she would just wag her tail.

I’ve never known a dog with so much patience.

When I started having panic attacks she would come and lay next to me and just let me hold onto her fur and wait. And when I calmed down she’d look at me like ‘alright, we good now?’ and lick my hand and then go find my mom. She was my moms dog, really, but I never thought she didn’t love me.

We took her camping once, and she must have been eleven. She hiked with my brother in law all the way up the mountain and back and never once stopped wagging her tail.

She got so blind she couldn’t see the stairs, so she’d sit in the middle of the stairwell and whine until one of us carried her up or down. She never doubted we’d come and rescue her.

When I got my current dog ,he had no idea how to be a dog. He had been locked up in a yard all his life and abused. She taught him just as much as I did, without me realizing it. How to great other dogs, how to act around kids, how to walk with us, how to dig. He learned it all watching her.

I never did get to thank her for that, for leaving a little bit of her personality with him before she died.

I wish I had stayed in the room with my mom when they put her down. But I felt like I was going to die already, if I had stayed I would have thrown up.

My mom left me alone with her for a minute[She actually did have to go and throw up] I cupped her face in my hands and told her I loved her and I would miss her every day, and never, ever forget her. She didn’t even look for my mother, and that was weird, she hated it when my mom left. She licked me and stood on my chest and wagged her tail. She licked my face, just like she did the day we picked her over her brother.

That was why we picked her. She was full of love, and I don’t think it ever ran out. And I never will forget her, I took a print of her paw one day, and a snippet of her fur the day she died. I’m getting that paw print tattooed on me soon.

I still wake up when it’s storming, and expect to hear her digging under my bed. I still have her leash. I still have her toys. it’s been two years, It doesn’t hurt any less.

Here’s to the best damn dog any girl could ask for.

I miss you Sissy. I hope you get to dig holes and chase motorcycles and play with toads in the Summerland. I’ll see you there, one day.

Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Rolling in the Deep-Adele